السبت، 11 أبريل 2015

Confession I

How to make history?the illusion of staying 

When I was young I used to read the story tales about heroes and imagine my self as one as any one of them.but after I grow up I realized there's no such a thing as heroes,and If I want to be a hero I should find way or another to discover my own hero even to create it.
Believe me it's a very hard path way to go through it.
To get lost between your mind set and what You used to do and be in your life and what You want to be and to see in Your self and others.
So what comes next was giving up all of those crazy ideas of building my own Utopia and live in the same earth as every one else used to live till death and beyond.
But makes me alive what keeps my heart still beating while I lost all the desire to stay alive,It was and still that very weak light of hope to discover,to Know,to realize that I'm only one lonely person alone standing by my self in my own dark way so here's the plan I decided to make what ever it takes from me!!

First part of the plan is to observe what makes people happy?
It was alot of things makes people happy for example some of them like to have fun and get drunk some others doing sports,some others getting in touch with others,getting involved in the environment then the realization of each one is different than other and for each one of us there's this kind of things s/he likes most and other things may not make him/her happy.

Second part of the plan is to see the ability and the possibility to apply it to my situation and for real that was the hard part to try to see which fits me because there is a variety of things.

Third part of the plan is  life experience  and here you go
I've met some of you already in the first story tellers event, and I mentioned that I'm going to that country far away during my tells,and here I'm there for almost five months and it's been quiet not bad experience but it's awesome I'm doing something pretty relaxing,and life here is so boring not as excited as it was in Egypt but what can I do I live here and try to get the hell out of the boring situation doing my best to be involved here and there, I wanted so much to make something different in peoples life but seems like the only change here is in my own life and personality,I think I become someone else kind of rude,careless,like to party,like girls so much but honestly I still have my limits I go to party just to watch people while they get drunk and learn how to dance some times i try and I know I dance like a drunken monkey but who cares?!
I miss things I used to do back in Egypt things I used to feel  useful person with doing it.
but what can I say here also there are alot of useful things and very encouraging environment to be creative I know it's as encouraging and challenging as it was in Egypt but who am I to disagree?!
lately I been thinking about not going back....don't ask me why?!because I'm going to tell you right away.
here the life style is different also kind of I'm unique here especially the city I live in it. One of only three Egyptians in the whole city of 193000 population.
when people asks me where am I from and I say Egypt they become very impressed and curious about the history and ancient Egyptian.

If you want me to count how many people I met during my life here I'd say at least 300 person and I remember most of them.
I tried to learn something from each one here.but the one I can rely on learning more and more are the German and Austrian people they're so passionate and organised ..

To be continued....